Hello. My name is Lillis and I am afraid of being an adult.

To some of you this may be shocking and to others it is woefully familiar. I am terrified of being an adult. Not in the aging sense, but in the responsibility sense. Doing adult things freaks me out. There are a million little examples that I could bring up, waiting for my ex to dump me since I was too chicken, making Barry do a lot of hand holding to get me to actually buy a car, a motorcycle, good tires, a TV, a firearm, a vacuum and countless other items that had price tags over the $50 mark. These were all purchases and decisions that adults make and each one filled me with anxiety and dread. Emotionally it was way easier to wait and simply make no decisions.

Indecision has been a close friend of mine for years. Actually making a decision and dealing with the subsequent fallout is something that adults have to do everyday. It was easier to wait for the breakup, let my dad give me a car, and hem a haw over the relative merits of asst. motorcycles all the while being freaked out by the idea of spending THOUSANDS of dollars. (as in more than one)

If you don't make a decision then you don't have to deal with any potentially bad fallout. This is why I don't tend to talk about politicians but will talk about issues. People are hard to defend, they change all the times. Issues take a little bit of thought and research and POOF your argument is set. No one can tell you "Thats great but he is still a Jerk." Issues can not be jerks.

Now we are looking into buying a house. I am completely in love with the idea of actually owning a place and being able to make it my own. I want to paint walls, put in wood flooring and hang pictures. I want to love the place where I live. This will require a mortgage. Logically I can well afford the price range we are looking at. It will not be over stretching us if either of us were to loose our job. It would suck, but we would be fine. Logically I know we are in the best position possible. We are buying less than we can afford in a buyers market. There are a variety of houses in our price range and we are not in a hurry to get out of our current residence.

Emotionally, I am hiding under a desk trying not too think about having THOUSANDS (as in over 100) of dollars of debt. Hopefully Barry wont have to do too much more hand holding.